Heidi Straube

Last week a client of mine who had signed up for a series of sessions with me e-mailed to say that he might need to postpone our meetings. "I really do want to make the leap and find the work that is right for me," he said, "but I'm just so busy with my current job. Could we wait and figure out what I want to really do with my life when things are not so hectic?"

Another client was in the initial stages of "taking the leap" with me. His homework was to begin the exercises in my workbook, taking first steps that would help him to find a new, fulfilling direction. At our scheduled appointment he said, "I haven't even looked at the workbook. I've just been so busy. Maybe I need to do all of this when I don't have so much going on."

I completely understand the dilemma of these two people. They obviously have a lot to juggle in their lives, many needs that demand attention. I'm sure you have come up against the same kind of frustrations. You know you need to make a change, you know you want to make a change, to make the leap into something you have always desired, but you keep putting it off. Here is what I said to the people above, and here is what I say to you:

"I completely understand. But if not now… when?"

When are you going to put first what is most important to your heart and soul? When do you think that you will "naturally" have time to really change your life?

Life is consuming. It fully takes our time, energy, and attention. It makes perfect sense to want to schedule personal work when things are not so hectic. But in my experience, life rarely slows down on its own. In fact, if anything, it seems to gain momentum if we don't take charge. Without awareness, our lives become faster and faster, until we feel like we are in a runaway train, searching for the brake.

If you are waiting for life to slow down before you do _____ (you fill in the blank: put in whatever it is that you have promised yourself that you will do to make yourself happy as soon as you have time, money, friends, etc.), I'm afraid that you'll be waiting for a long time. Life only slows down when we deliberately make it slower. Your life will be more manageable, stable, and satisfying when you make a commitment to taking the steps needed, no matter how tiny, to put into motion the changes that you want and yearn for.

Perhaps you already know this. But knowing and doing are two separate things. Why aren't you slowing your life down, and starting to make or at least explore the changes you want?  From working with hundreds of clients, here is what I have seen as a major block in moving from knowing you must find time to actually doing it:

You see the change you would like to make as a huge project. You fear that making this change will be even more time consuming and stressful than the responsibilities that you already have in your life. Although you may be stuck and unhappy, you think, "Why add even more stress to my life?"

Perhaps you want to quit the job that you are totally bored with and finally open that restaurant you always dreamed of. It's totally overwhelming, however, to imagine planning and executing all of the details: buying land, finding a building or builder, designing the concept, acquiring investors, creating menus, and on and on PLUS work at your 60 hour a week job. How can you do it all? So you wistfully dream the dream, but take no steps toward it, as you continue to commit your time to the work that does not thrill you.

There is a way to keep your life stable, fulfill your responsibilities, and still change your life without losing everything.

How?

By taking the change that feels so huge and breaking it down into small, manageable steps.

Although you may have the spiritual enthusiasm to make a major life change, your current circumstances may truly not allow that change to happen overnight. Also, besides intensely desiring to "take the leap", you may equally fear that by doing so you will lose everything. You can minimize that fear and integrate changes into your familiar lifestyle more easily if you allow yourself the safety of taking small steps.

To begin your life change adventure, take the easiest and most attractive step you can think of. Let yourself enjoy this beginning! Then, taking more small steps, let your excitement build. Feel the satisfaction that comes from completing actions, and the inner richness that occurs when you are creating what is really right for you. Test what fits, what does not, and revise your direction as you go along. You'll find that as your momentum builds, it becomes easier and easier to "find the time." And as your vision becomes real and you continue the process, the steps will fall into place, with the momentum naturally carrying you through the leap into your new life.

 Taking smaller, pleasurable steps, my "homework client" committed to 3 workbook pages a week, instead of the whole workbook at once. The other client decided to begin with the less time consuming but fascinating interest inventories. They are now both firmly on the path to taking the leap. What can you do? Take a moment right now, and think of the most enjoyable first step you could take to begin a change you have been yearning for.  Wanting new work? Write down what you want so you can clearly tell someone who could help you. Desiring more spiritual time? Meditate 5 minutes tomorrow morning. Take a step, no matter how small, day by day, week by week, year by year.

Your yearning for "more" is an essential part of your being. Don't back off because it feels too big to handle. The fact that it feels big is a reflection of your own magnificence, the expansiveness of your being. Nurture your dream; make time for it. And if you are tempted to wait until later, remember: "If Not Now… When?"